Do Your Clothes Fit You, or Do You Fit Your Clothes?

I read something recently that really spoke to me - we need to stop thinking there is something wrong with our bodies, and realize that there is something wrong with our clothes. In my many years of styling, I have found the biggest single obstacle for everyone is the way people view their bodies.

It doesn't seem to matter if you are a size 0, 4, 14 or 22. Men seem better able to deal with the number associated with their waist size, but I do have some male clients who are alarmed at the increase in their waist size, and most of that has to do with their dislike of shopping, in general. It could be they really want to be in shape but don't have the time, but mostly it's about shopping. And it's traumatic, I agree. You go out, find something you really like to wear - that go-to piece you wear at least once a week, and then it doesn't fit anymore. Stressful. So, what next?

The response I get from a lot of people is that they really just need to find something temporary until they lose whatever their magic number is, or they fit into a specific size. Since they believe they will soon be back in the clothes they love, and that are familiar, the clothes they buy in their current size don't get the same amount of attention because it's just a temporary solution. So now we're back to the original question - do your clothes fit you? or do you fit your clothes?

This Is What I Know to Be True

I recently had a discussion with my marketing person over something she finds aggravating, as well curious to better understand. She was out of town and took some time to shop for herself, as she was in Atlanta working at the GA Music Awards. She hit the two big malls - Phipps and Lenox in Buckhead, and ended up at Atlantic Station. If you haven't ever had the opportunity to shop Atlanta and enjoy shopping, I would recommend a road trip. As for Jeannie, I was thrilled she took the time to have that experience herself, although I think deep down she enjoys shopping and would never admit it to me!

The first store she went into was a chain, but lends itself to more of a boutique feel. She commented that the store had only sizes 0-4 on the racks, but most of the women shopping in the store were closer to size 8 and 10. If you were interested in a garment then you needed to ask the salesperson and she would look in back. There are few boutiques in the Triangle that do that same thing. What are they thinking? Jeannie thinks it's some kind of obligation thing, as if having to go in the back will obligate the shopper in some way and make them feel like they should buy. Her response, and probably most women's, is to not bother and move on to another store.

When I started my business over twenty years ago, my clients were predominately size 8-10. The average size American was a size 14 at the time, and has gone up steadily since then.

I have several questions and statements to address what I call "The Snobbery Effect":

1. What is the actual goal of only putting a few sizes out? Limited space or pretending the shop is something it isn't. For crying out loud - really?!? Personally, if they are trying to make me feel bad about my size, then mission accomplished. Actually I take that back, it's the store with the problem, not me. I wonder if there is a fashion conspiracy that I'm just not aware of.

2. If a store doesn't have the space to put out a full size run, then put out every other size, but make sure you show your largest size. The salesperson in the store should make sure the priority is to not only greet the customer, but immediately explain that additional sizes are in back. I have met many women over the years who hate shopping, and having to find a salesperson to ask about a size is one of many complaints about what a hassle shopping can be. What about working to make it easy to purchase?

3. Lastly, shopping should be a positive experience and not something that makes you question if your size is available in a store. Look - you know your weight and size, and if that is an issue for you and you are shopping in a boutique store that only puts out small sizes, then save yourself heartache and don't support it. Remember the chain 5-7-9? Don't go there if you're an 11, because they actually make a point of stating what they carry, unlike what Jeannie experienced.

With limited time and a lot of shopping options, Jeannie was pretty turned off by the boutique and off she went. She wandered into Dillard's, where rack space and sales help was plentiful. Ahhh.... a positive shopping experience. The racks actually had a complete size run. Imagine that! Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is a department store and yes, there is more room. But the complaint was not that there was too much product! Jeannie did have success between the selection and the incredible deals. 

On the flip side, have you ever been in a store where you can't even move a hanger on the rack? This is equally frustrating. I have had the experience a time or two where several items have fallen to the floor and I have picked them up and actually either deposited it onto another rack or at a service desk. That makes it tough, too. I get that there is sometimes so much merchandise at the beginning of the sale and not enough rack space, but then space it out. Over-full racks don't help shoppers shop. In my previous career as a store manager for a mom and pop chain up North, I spent hours working on merchandising. My goal was always to make the rack as visually appealing as possible, along with shopable! Boy, I loved that constant challenge.

SO...a final call to all boutiques who put out a very limited size run - please explain your logic. I see it only in a few stores in Raleigh, but I do want to understand the philosophy of sparse empty racks with few sizes and how that makes us feel.

From my rack to yours-

Suzanne

Lifestyle Dressing - What Does it Mean Exactly?

Many interesting conversations come from talking to people about what they wear and why they wear it. One such conversation is about dressing well for your lifestyle. I know people who used to dress immaculately, by their account, in high school and college, and are now stay-at-home moms, work from home, or don't want to look out of place in a business casual environment and don't put the same effort into it. Again, their admission and not my observation. My questions are always why not, and what changed about your commitment to looking the best you possibly can? It's not that I think they don't look just fine as is, but when I tell people what I do, fashion becomes a topic of discussion most of the time. I talk a lot about lifestyle dressing, and I know it doesn't mean we have to end up as one of the 10 worst dressed cities on a GQ list, or the 10 best dressed in Glamour - do you know that?

We're blessed with temperate weather and a laid-back lifestyle, but that doesn't mean you get to use that as a reason to wear the same clothes all the time. Atlanta, Charlotte, Miami, Charleston, and Savannah are warmer than Raleigh, and yet, mixed in with the khakis and polos, shorts and camis, you meet people who wear regularly things like linen, ties, belts, work appropriate shirt- and sundresses, anything other than flip flops or sandals, and lots and lots of color. It fits their personal esthetic, the weather they experience, and the life they lead - lifestyle dressing to a T!

Now I know there are some of you out there shaking your head no. You love your khakis, your cargo shorts, your camis, and your flip flops. I'm all for a relaxed look - believe me! I, too, wear flip flops, a cami, and khaki shorts. What I hear most from clients is that it takes too long - the shopping, the morning routine, the traffic, and the stress of finding the right thing to wear when leaving your comfort zone. I have solutions for stuff like that. Not the traffic, of course, but the shopping, the morning routine, and the stress.  

First, you don't have to look like a model or be at your goal weight and perfect size to dress well. By dress well, I also don't mean fashion plate, but if that's what you aspire to - go for it! Mostly you simply have to find a good tailor and buy clothes that fit. Reminds me of Goldilocks - buy clothes that aren't too big or too small, but juuuust right.

Second, look at what people are wearing in the magazines you read. The pictures that have captions that read 'coming from the gym/yoga' or 'heading to/at the beach', are probably not things you should wear every day. I know, I know, those clothes are comfortable. There's a reason for that, and unless you're a trainer or yogi, personal pride and professional appearance have little to do with looking like you should be at the gym or the beach. Some magazines have a dedicated section for fashion finds or how to wear, like Real Simple or Garden & Gun. If you think you see something you like, or you see something new that is supposed to fit your body shape, go find it and try it on. 

Third, and last, take a day and pick a store. Remember when it was fun to go shopping and get lunch? Get together with a friend or two, and have fun. See what else is out there, what the designers are doing, and what might be truly out there in left field, as in who would wear this left field. Try on colors you like. If you find a pair of capris or a sundress to try on, try finding a scarf in a bold color or pattern to use as a belt. Mix and match patterns and colors in ways you've seen on tv shows, in magazines, or online. Put together a whole outfit for yourself or a friend (be sure to keep their body shape in mind - no friend wants you to feature their flaws, real or imagined). And have fun! 

So that's lifestyle dressing, just as simple as when you were a fashion conscious teenager. If you weren't a fashion conscious teenager, you've definitely had to learn to dress for your personal and professional life, both to present the image you'd like to project and to fit your circle of friends and activities, which is exactly what dressing for your lifestyle is all about.

Last tip, ironically about t-shirts. The CFDA, who hosted the awards I wrote about last week, is working with Coca-Cola to pick their new t-shirt that will be available for purchase at Target. To take a look at the new designs from young designers, and vote, visit their site.

Swimsuit Shopping - Yay or Nay?

Navigating the challenging waters of buying a swimsuit is exhausting. I don't care if you are size 0 or size 24 - it's hard. Why we tend to make it harder on ourselves than need be, I will never understand. Being a stylist, I feel no different. It is a necessary thing we must do at least once or twice in our lifetime and it ain't easy. We are all on this same page on this topic, so let me give you a few things to consider before you begin.

• Eat a light snack before heading out to try on suits. You'll need your energy, and although you don't want to feel too full or bloated, you also don't want to shop hungry and grumpy. Have clothes that are easily to change into and out of, including shoes.
• Bring a bottle of water and a girlfriend who is honest. If don't have one, hire a wardrobe consultant to shop with you or be honest with yourself without being overly critical.
• Plan to spend a few hours looking in several stores and at several swim suit options. If you find a great bottom at one store and not the ideal top, then buy the bottom and continue looking for a top that works. No ever said the whole suit has to be the same brand or color. One recognized trend is women wearing two different colors on top and bottom. You can either blend the two colors or do contrasting colors. There is no hard and fast fashion rule, here. I say find the best fit, first and foremost.
• Stick to smaller patterns, unless you have attributes you'd like to make appear larger than they are. Brights and larger patterns will make you appear larger. Most women want to look slimmer. Darker colors look best on the bottom. That doesn't mean your suit has to be boring. Solid black is slimming, but navy, darker greens, browns, and purples with give you that same sliming look. Step out of the box and at least try new things to see what you think! Personally, I like to incorporate a little dark metallic into my swimwear. For some reason, it makes my skin tone look richer, because I don't opt to sunbathe these days!
• Hopefully at this point in your life you know your best asset. If it is your breasts, then focus on drawing attention to it with either a deep v-neck, or full bra tops that have underwire for support. Just like with your clothing, you want to draw the attention upwards.
• If your body shape is more of a pear, then look for suits that are streamlined and don't emphasize the thigh area. Stay away from any detail around the thigh and hip region. This is when I would focus on a textured dark suit or ruching on the waist drawing attention to the side.
• If you are small chested, look for tops with detail or embellishments. A little adding padding goes a long way!
• If you have larger thighs, look for suits with skirts or swim shorts. This will help elongate the look of your leg and will also be comfortable for swimming. That is the purpose of a bathing suit, right? Who needs a suit you can't actually get in the water in?
• Remember to size up and bring several styles in at a time. When sizing up, don't buy to camouflage your body. The suit should be fitted to your body. It is no different than wearing baggy clothes. That is no-no, and you will actually appear heavier. Once you have actually selected a suit, remember to invest in a cover-up. Tunics tops are great options to use as a cover-up. Find a color that will complement your suit, but it can also be something that doesn't match exactly. You know my thoughts on matchy-matchy!
• Once you are done, celebrate the achievement and begin making plans to show off your new suit!

Holiday Shopping Traditions

For those in Great Britain and formal British Colonies, Boxing Day is a significant holiday that occurs right after Christmas. Boxing Day, traditionally December 26 or the second weekday after Christmas, is a bank or public holiday. Boxing Day is very similar to the day after Thanksgiving in the United States. Recently, British shops have broken with tradition to have sales and often dramatically discount goods. Just like Black Friday, British retailers look to make their largest profits of the year. As in the States, retailers open early and stay open late to offer store busters and loss leaders. The holiday shopping day has been so successful over the years that stores often have to secure crowds by providing numbers to allow customers to enter and exit in a way that avoids chaos. The online version of shopping is called Cyber Boxing Day and continues to grow in popularity.

The background of Boxing Day originates when employers used to give their servants or employees a gift of money or food in a small box since they frequently had to work Christmas Day. During medieval times, the lord of the manor would gather his workers and distribute boxes of tools, food and cloth. This was compensation for work being done throughout the year. In later years similar stories have been told that servants were able to take boxes or hampers home for their families. This tradition still happens but generally the week before Christmas. Another variation of this theme occurred in churches and public places. Townspeople would drop off money, clothing or other gently used items to be donated to the poor. Children were encouraged to give up their year old toys and clothing, or toys and clothing they never wore, to the poorer among them.

For those interested in checking out deals to purchase outside the United States check out this Boxing Day site.

For those looking for post-Christmas buys here in the States, beware. Many shoppers are hitting the stores to return unwanted gifts. No need to re-gift an item when most stores will take it back. Keep in mind a few things when returning unwanted clothing to stores:

* Make sure the item has a ticket attached

* Having a receipt will guarantee you receive the money that is due to you

* Do not feel as though you have to purchase a replacement item that same day

* Take a store credit, as stores will mark down items even further in the New Year

* Early spring items will hit the stores in February and your store credit will allow you fresh goods to choose from

* Bring your patience and remember store employees are doing the best they can. That is why a gift receipt or tag is imperative!

Cyber Monday Shopping

If you have had your fill of turkey and relatives and now you are trying to catch your breath before Cyber Monday hits, I thought I would give you some quick food for thought. Can you believe I actually mentioned food again? Before you start cruising the internet and reading through the dozens of emails, all advertising cyber deals, think about the following questions, particularly if you get the bug to shop for yourself and not for holiday presents:

What makes this internet offer such a good one?

What is written in the small print - is there a minimum spend to get the deal?

Have you bought from them before?

Is it a secured site?

Does it offer free shipping and return postage?

Can the item be returned?

What is the delivery time promised? Express or snail mail? Estimated delivery time?

If it is not being offered at at at least 50% off or more, forget it. It probably isn't worth the effort.

Is it an item that will enhance your wardrobe, or just a splurge?

There are some items that are worth checking out that are worth investing in at this point in the season, and that you may have been not been able to look at previously:

• A good leather or suede boot
• A wool coat
• A leather jacket
• A classic raincoat
• A long strand of pearls
• A rich leather handbag
• A good leather belt with a handsome buckle, and remember to go up one size. If you buy size 28 jeans, buy a 30 inch belt.
• Your favorite brand and style t-shirt in multiple colors
• Your favorite scent

Big box stores will provide the biggest draw for sale items, as well as specific designers or brand names. If you like a certain brand or designer, look at the site. And don't dilly dally! If you find something that piques your interest - go for it. I guarantee if you check back, it will have sold out.

Happy shopping, but remember a great sale on wardrobe items is only good if it’s something that will work with your existing wardrobe. This is not the time to build a wardrobe. This is, however, a great time to do a quick, and I mean quick, closet evaluation and see if you can catch any steals online to complement what you already have.

Black Friday Shopping Expert Tips and Tricks

Retail was up .5% for the month of October. Hooray!

What does that actually mean? Retail sales haven’t shown a positive increase in forever, and stores have traditionally relied upon heavy discounting and carrying less inventory. As you may know, Black Friday is called that because stores have taken the upcoming holidays, discounted their goods for shoppers who have the day after Thanksgiving off and can go shopping, and crossed their fingers that it would allow them to show a profit.

Let's chat about upcoming shopping for Black Friday. Is it worth fighting the crowds of crazy people all in search of what they think is the bargain of the year? If you are looking for clothing, do the research beforehand. Most stores have a pretty good idea of what will be on special sale next Friday. If they choose not to share with you that is one thing, but the information should be available. You need to weigh the savings versus the stress of it all.

 

I had my first experience shopping on Black Friday last year with my daughter. It wasn't pretty, but I will do it again ‘cause I love my daughter. I frequently don't do malls on weekends. There has to be a really good reason for me to shop, and the same thought applies to shopping on any holiday. A holiday is meant to be just that. A break from your job! Not that I don't love it, but the crowds kill me.

I figure I log anywhere from 15 - 30 hours alone in just one of our various malls in the Triangle on any given week. That doesn't include shopping centers, or one-stop destinations.  My car survival kit isn't quite the same as most traveling salesman's. What you typically find in my car or purse on a regular basis is meant to help with my job of shopping.

Let's compare notes and see if you are as equipped for a typical shopping expedition with a personal shopper!

·         Two bottles of water, usually cold at 10 am and warm by 3 pm,

·         a small cooler if I plan ahead, with carrots, an apple and maybe some cheese,

·         a bag of my favorite snacks, typically raw cashews or smoked almonds,

·         an empty Starbucks cup, from my morning routine and just waiting to be thrown out,

·         several ink pens, because I am forever losing them between the seats,

·         black flats, for when my heels don’t like my feet anymore and my dogs are barking,

·         straight pins and safety pins, for showing clients what the garment will look like when hemmed,

·         a jewelry chain to measure what length my clients might want a necklace made to accommodate their necklines,

·         a pad of paper, and

·         a good old fashion yellow pages.

Now let's chat in terms of how you need to prepare yourself for Black Friday, and what to expect. Do your research and have a plan. Now if you’re not going for anything in particular, then are you crazy?

1.    A somewhat good night’s sleep, either Wednesday the 23^rd, or if you’re hard core and don't plan on going to bed on the 24^th, forget my suggestion.

2.    A plan of action. Decide what stores are most important to you and go there first.

3.    Comfortable shoes - rubber soles are a must. The mall floor will get old quickly while fighting the crowds.

4.    An outfit with no more than two layers. A sweater that can be thrown in a purse or around your waist is good for changing temperatures in stores, the mall and outdoors.

5.    A lightweight purse with a front closure or body bag purse. Don't give pick pockets an opportunity to ruin your fun.

6.    A bottle of water and a snack.

7.    Bring your patience, because you will be waiting in long cashier register lines.

8.    Any online coupons that might be used along with regular store discounts.

9.    Walkie talkies (just kidding). A cell phone will work as well. You may lose your family member in a store. Or is that the plan?

10.  Lastly, bring your smile, as this is supposed to be fun and not too painful. Hmmm, I'm just saying.

So, what might bring me out shopping besides my daughter asking me - nothing. No discount is great enough for me not to be home relaxing. If you do happen to run into me, I’ll be sporting a large cup of coffee, an extended belly from eating way too much the day before, and possibly my mother and mother-in-law on my arm. I can't imagine why they will want to come. My mother doesn't get up before 8 am. My mother-in-law is so little and doesn't hear well, and I could easily lose her under a rack or in a corner and she wouldn't hear me yelling for her. As for my daughter, truth be told, I wouldn't trade the craziness of it all to not be with her. Soon enough she won't be as determined to find a great buy at the Gap.

I Love My Job!

Recently I met with a new client - mother of two, recently unemployed, has gained weight over the past years, and struggled when shopping for clothes. We met for coffee and talked about her lifestyle, how shopping was a chore, and that she was truly tired of not looking or feeling good in her clothes.

So much of what I do is look at each client from within themselves and work with their best features. Features can be beautiful eyes, high cheekbones, a great brow line, nice firm calves or delicate hands.

After 4 hours in a department store, starting with getting fitted with the proper undergarments, my client emerged as a woman with a new purpose! She was armed with the knowledge needed to shop on her own.

What is most gratifying for me is to see how my clients grow as individuals and begin to feel and look the best they can be!